or, for the monolingual among us, "My Crazy Life."
The clouds evaporated and the sun came out. Linus and Lucy had spent a couple hours outside, without escaping. In my muddy yard. So the logical thing was to give them a bath. Cool them off. Clean them off.
Great idea, huh? Since Linus is a newcomer, I had no idea how he felt about baths. Turns out, he tolerated it very well. Better than Lucy. Which isn't saying much. Unfortunately, the colony of fleas he hosted didn't take it as well. OMG. I have a parasite phobia. I swear, they said he was negative for everything. Heartworm, rabies, hookworm, and surely, fleas and ticks. I should've listened to The Daddler when he said the new dog was "knockin' fleas." I thought it was an allergy to the cat. It was congruent with his sneezing.
After doing my best to spray away the fleas with the jet setting on the nozzle, I wrapped Linus in a towel and handed him to The D. I fastened the "Lucky Dog" collar and slipped on the leash, and told D to take him in and put him in the crate (which, fortunately, had clean bedding.) A minute later, I'd plunged Lucy into the fresh (hopefully flea-less water). That's when I heard The Daddler holler, "She ran away." Amber alert.
I abandoned Lucy and ran in the house. Told D to get in the van. I grabbed the keys and a leash and headed down the street. Like a ghost, we kept seeing her, but she didn't materialize. I jumped out of the van and ran like the devil. I tried to head her off at the pass. That's when I saw the mini-van rolling down the street. The Daddler was behind the wheel. Pressed into service. I jumped into the passenger seat and told him to go past Linus, so I could head him back to our house. The opposite direction of White Station. Major thoroughfare.
I imagined the convo with the animal clinic's In-House Nurse Ratched, telling her of Linus' demise. I was comforted by the fact that my house was likely infested with fleas. And that I'm on the verge of figuring out how to do small claims court.
The D did great. I instructed him to pull into a driveway, so I could jump out and pursue the prodigal dog. He did. And I did. And Linus submitted. I snatched him up. The Daddler was getting out of the van when I got back, and I told him to keep on driving. And he did. What was the worst that could happen?
Wow. I think I should try to reinstate his license. I'm not sure he could pass the written exam, given the aphasia, but the truth is, he's a much better driver than I am. And as far as sense of direction... No contest. And so what if he got pulled over and ticketed for driving without a license? If he did some time for doing the crime, I think he'd have a positive influence on his cell mates. And I'd have a break from preparing meals.
Ok, this is nonsense. I should close. I need a nap before I head to the James Taylor concert tonight. Turns out, everyone I know will be there. So I should figure out something to wear. Maybe just a towel, because it'll be a sauna.
Over and out...
Welcome to my world!
My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...