It's been so long since I last blogged. So much has happened. That damn day job is eating into my computer time. That, and the raging mildew colony that's invaded my home office. Which I just realized, yesterday, is NOT my fault. It all started when I got a brand spankin' new (very expensive) HVAC system. Three years ago. When I first reported the problem to the vendor, I was told that I was blocking the vents (thanks to former housekeeper who shoved shit in corners in an effort to assuage my hoarding tendencies.) I could write pages and pages about this subject, but I won't. Not now, at least. Bottom line is that I think Dude oversold me on the HVAC system. I just learned that if the unit's too big for the area being cooled, this kinda shit happens. Got some Googling to do, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I've been had. Which makes sense of the fact that I've called those guys out not once, but twice, to my rental property to repair the HVAC, and never received a bill. Even though I've asked for it more than once. And left messages for Dude to call me. Hmmm...
Well, I've bleached the hell out of one mildew-ridden vent and the surrounding wall, carpet, baseboard, etc. Got a fan blowing fumes out the window, so as not to asphyxiate The Daddler (my office is adjacent to his bedroom.)
More on that later. But to keep your breath bated, I'll tell you that including the toxic fungi, I've been dealing with my own little version of the ten plagues of Egypt. My version includes infestations of rats, squirrels, cicadas, spiders, flies (I don't know why,) snakes and roaches. Truth be told, I've only seen one snake, so I won't declare that a plague yet. Same with roaches - killed one the other night, but haven't seen one since. Really, the rat thing was the worst, and I thought I had it conquered, but I've been seeing suspicious-looking, small, black, turd-shaped objects around the house again. It makes me itch just thinking about it. Which reminds me of the fact that I was convinced I had pubic lice, because my lady parts continued to itch even after I'd taken the prescription yeast infection pill I received from the ER doc when I got my thumb nearly bitten off by a neighbor's cur. (He prescribed some big-gun antibiotic, and I had the presence of mind to ask for a Diflucan script, which I got refilled when the second round of itching started.) Again, more about that later. Including an embarrassing episode at Costco when a fellow shopper interrupted my vigorous labia-scratching to ask if I knew where the peanut butter was. I cringe when I think about it. Thank god for my face-blindness.
Oh, and just to be clear, you CAN catch pubic lice from public toilets.
Ok, better run. I need to go set some traps and put out some poison. Load The Daddler's service revolver (forgot to mention the lawn-mower theft in my list of plagues.) And teach my new dogs some old tricks. Love those girls. Gotta put some flea and tick stuff on them. Because if we got infested with those, that would make TEN. And we all know what happened to the Egyptians after that...
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