Who the Fuck Does He Think He Is?

Or, Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned. Or, Don't Fuck With Me When I'm Sleep-Deprived. Or, Don't Fuck With Me...Period. Or, You're a Salesman, So You'd Better Kiss My Ass Until the Deal is Inked.

Oh, so many good titles. They're all so good - let's just consider them subtitles.

And leave it at that. I'm still in shock after the surreal meeting/out-of-body experience I had this afternoon.

Fortunately, whenever anyone is rude, disrespectful, or otherwise confrontational to me, I'm stunned by it. I say "fortunately" because I'm sure I would've been fired from every single job I've ever had. Two hours later I'm thinking of the perfect comeback. And while it would've felt good to say it, I don't think it would've been well-received.

So, bless his pea-pickin' heart, Salesman (let's just call him S from here on out) didn't lose the sale or his balls today. Let's see, how can I sum it up without boring you with lots of technical details? How 'bout we just say his 3 1/2 years experience with his company (which I'm sure is his first and only job since college graduation) trumps my 25 years. Damn, was he born after I got my lowly BBA? Maybe that explains it. My knowledge is archaic.

Let's just cite a couple things. He made a personal guarantee that the price of our services would never increase. Ever. I asked if that was in the contract. The answer was, "No, but it is our company's policy to never increase our fees, and in the three and one-half years I've been there, that's never changed. If it does, I'll make good on my promise." Right. I explained to S that an oral promise wasn't the same as a contractual agreement. He said if we made a single mark on the terms on the contract, it would be "null and void." I was dumbfounded, and my very astute client asked if there was a termination fee. You can read between the lines.

She asked me to review each document before she signed it. It was her kind way of affirming me and showing respect for my judgment. He looked shocked that anyone would deign to actually read something before they signed it. Besides, he seemed like he was in a hurry. I should've taken longer.

Lots of processing to do. I'm embarrassed to admit that tears spilled out of my eyes as soon as he left. I apologized to my client (both women) and explained about sleep deprivation, fucking idiot DeSoto county relatives, and a difficult family situation that cropped up 30 minutes before I was walking out the door. They were both shocked at S's behavior and asked if they should cancel the contract. I assured them that it was still the best deal and that maybe S had been chewed by his boss/wife/mistress right before our meeting. I threw in the mistress thing. It's not end of month, so sales quota doesn't explain it. Unless he's way off for July.

Still. I'll call and read him the riot act when I feel like it. Not this week. Maybe he'll be penitant. If not, I'll ask for his boss's name and ask for another rep. Because his company is great. He's just stupid. We all are at times. The key is whether we can learn from our mistakes. Which is why I make it a practice never to regret mine...