My Latest Misadventure

My walking date with the CraigsList killer exercise buddy last week was postponed.  Rescheduled for this morning.  I arrived promptly at the appointed time and place.  Saw a guy standing in the parking lot, looking around.  Asked him if his name was Kris.  Nope.  Walked into the  the visitors' center and took a look.  No one.  Went back outside.  I'd been pretty clear about the location.  And we'd emailed right before I left home.  Another guy walked by.  Not him.  My friend Melanie called and we talked a few minutes.  I hung up when I saw someone who must surely have been Kris approaching.  No dice. 

By then, he was 15 minutes late.  I tried to log on to email on my phone, but it's been weird lately, so I couldn't manage to do that.  We hadn't exchanged phone numbers.  So I kept waiting.  Another guy walked up.  I asked if his name was Kris.  He said, "It is, if you want it to be."  Great.  I explained that I was meeting a friend of a friend (sounded better than blind date) to walk and that I hadn't met him before.  He said he had a friend named Chris, with a C, and that he thought Chris might be interested in me.  Which I thought was presumptious.  He proceeded to take my picture and text it to his buddy.  Bold.  Then he told me that I was in good shape and very attractive.  Thanks.  Glad you approve.

He told me not to leave.  That he'd be right back after he called Chris.  About that time, another Kris candidate walked up and I propositioned approached him.  He said he was meeting some other people.  They magically appeared, and I struck up a convo with the woman.  While I was explaining my predicament, a goofy man wearing a headband walked toward us, and I said, "If Headband Man is Kris, do NOT tell him I'm waiting for him."  Get this.  She said, "That's my husband."  Major fail.  Damn, I hate it when I do that.

I made a feeble effort to recover and told her the headband was a little dorky, but in a cute way.  He said he had to wear it to keep the sweat out of his eyes.  They didn't seem to0 offended.  Around that time, Chris' wingman appeared and said Chris wanted to text me.  I don't think so.

I decided to cut my losses and hit the trail.  I ran most of the 1.67 miles (with a couple short walking breaks).  Headed home.  Had email from Kris asking where I was.  Another one saying he was in a loveless marriage and wanted a lover.  He sent three pictures.  In one, he wasn't wearing a shirt (he shoulda been).  Another one had him in front of a red Mustang.  Again, sans shirt.  The third one was an album cover featuring him.  It looked mysteriously Photo-Shopped.  Whoa.  I dodged a bullet.  I wish I could post these pictures here, because words can't describe it, but that might be mean spirited.  You can be sure, however, that I'll be emailing them to all my friends.

For now, though, I'm going to get outside and do some gardening and enjoy the beautiful day.  And thank my lucky stars...