The Comcrap Saga Continues

I finally have their attention.  Yesterday, I got a call from someone named Angie in the corporate escalation team.  She actually has a brain and a heart.  Unlike most of the other Scarecrows and Tin Men I've been dealing with. 

She and her supervisor are working on my account, and she seemed sincere about that.  Said it looks really strange and is clearly wrong, and that they're going back to inception.  I'm still skeptical, but she gave me her direct dial number.  I used it this morning and it actually worked.  Without a trace of the fucking phone tree.  I called to tell her that my incoming email hasn't worked in three days.  The outgoing, since June 13th.  Yesterday when I mentioned that problem, she told me she'd have a tech guy (who is "Great!), give me a call today.  I left a voice mail since she works from 11 to 7.  Weird thing.  When I was winding up my lengthy message, I blurted out, "Love ya," same as I say to my best friends.  Caught myself, too late, and so tried to back-pedal, which resulted in a very weird message, with lots of cringing.

"Oops, I didn't mean that...  Thought I was talking to one of my friends...  Not that you couldn't be my friend...  I don't love you...  But I do like you..  Or at least I will if you can fix my problem.  Still, you seem like a nice person...  Over time, I may grow to love you, but I don't want to rush things." (Ok, I made that last thing up, but most of the rest is true.)...  I said I wasn't good and awake yet, that my message was weird, that she should ignore it, and have a great day...  Cringe, cringe, cringe.

I guess it's understandable, though, since she's thrown me a lifeline.  That, or I'm getting Stockholm Syndrom.  The same thing, really.

Whatever it is, I'm actually feeling hopeful.  And I'm planning to get hardwood floors to replace my urine stained, alizarin crimson acrylic paint stained, shredded in the corners carpet.  Because I'm certain I'm gonna get a big fat check to compensate me for my time and severe emotional pain and suffering.  And because I'm going to extort them with the SEC and FCC complaints.  Don't worry, though.  I'll do it in a subtle way.  I know they have a huge in-house counsel department, but what judge would rule against me?    In fact, I could slap them with a countersuit, and with any luck, the judge would hate them, too.  Just like the SEC attorney I talked to.  Besides, I'm sure they have plenty to keep their lawyers busy, including the class action lawsuits I read about.

Stay tuned for the next episode...