Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Jackhammer Destroyed My Zen

Wow. I was reading my post-it. Listening to some groovy tunes. Feelin' good. Clear. Focused, even. A rare thing for me. Then the shit hit the fan. Or I should say, the jackhammer hit the concrete.

Here I sit, staring out my window. It needs cleaning. There's a gray squirrel who eats the roots of my begonia every morning. I tap on the window and he gives me an "eat shit" look and prances around. If asshole squirrel eats The D's tomatoes, I'm gonna shoot him with a sawed off shotgun. Too bad I gave The D's .22 away. Can that be sawed off? Is it illegal to discharge firearms this close to a church and school?

They did rezone the extra land they added to my tract. But I have a feeling it's just residential and hunting and shooting are not permitted. I think I'll just stand really still next to Sly's marker in the front flower bed and smash the squirrel in the head with a shovel when he least expects it. Probably not a good idea given my extreme remorse over the previously blogged about hypothermic chipmunk. And today, while I was running, there was a dead squirrel in the street. He'd been run over. His own fault. You know how they play chicken with cars. Still, his tongue was hanging out and I couldn't help but think about his wife and kids. And how they'll have to drop out of squirrel school to gather acorns.

It's a cruel joke. When armageddon kicks in, it'll be the squirrels, mosquitoes, cockroaches and ants who'll run the show. And we think we're so evolved. And superior.

The jackhammer started up this afternoon. Kiddo started up. And the fuckin' mosquitoes. Kiddo'll be several continents away Saturday. I'll miss him.

Not so for the other pests. The good thing, though, is that I can kill them and not be charged with capital murder.

Would I violate Zen if I killed members of the animal kingdom? What if I stick to invertebrates? By that I mean creatures with exoskelatons. Not spineless fellow primates.

Damn, I thought I'd gotten all the bile out of my system. Guess I was wrong. I figure it'll take a while. But I have nowhere to go. At least not for another week or so...

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