Zen and Me

Sunday, when I was completely drained from my frantic week and near meltdown the day before, FF gave me some good advice. Some of the kind that's easier said than done. He has a few important principles that he uses. His toolbox.

They're very affirming and I need to hear them over and over. The kinds of things you already know, but need to be reminded of regularly.

Just breathe.

Live in the moment.

Hydrate. But not from plastic bottles - they have dangerous carcinogens.

I got kinda upset with him about the plastic bottle thing. I know he wants to help and it's sweet that he cares. I think it's more in the delivery. And the mood I was in. Which was influenced by my severe lack of affirmation lately.

Also, he has a strong personality. Which goes hand in glove with his enthusiasm and passion for life. Which I love. I'd say that's true about me, too. But sometimes the warnings feel like criticisms. And I know they're not for him, but if I don't let him know how I feel, it'll probably turn into a much bigger deal than it should. Even though I hate conflict, sometimes it's necessary. It's part of communicating. And understanding a person. And it takes practice to resolve it. We won't always agree, but that's not important. The need to be right was a significant factor in the demise of my marriage. But it was a symptom of a much bigger problem. Namely, unresolved conflict. And immeasurable resentment.

Ok, about the Zen thing. I put this Post-It note on my wall in front of my computer yesterday morning. Strange thing. I ran across the following website somewhere: http://zenhabits.net/start/ Took a quick look at it, and lo and behold, here's what it said: Smile, breathe and go slowly.’ ~Thich Nhat Hanh

What do ya' know? I had the smile and breathe part thing. Dude gave me the breathe part, but I came up with the smile on my own. And he makes me smile.