Belly Buttons, Part MCXLII

Damn it. I think I'm getting MRSA. I'm feeling feverish. Of course, this doesn't help one bit:

I woke up wondering about the best practices for cleaning the navel. The little eight step process Dude so kindly shared with me failed to mention one thing. How often should you do it? Is it a daily thing, or do you just do it every week or two? Like when you cut your toenails. Only problem is that I don't do that until they start catching on my sheets or rubbing when I go running - I forget about them. Same as my navel. Should I just do it quarterly, when I change my air conditioner filter? Dammit, I think I'm overdue on that. I can't believe the WikiHow article left out the frequency. It was very complete. It even explained that Q-Tips are the same as cotton swabs. Q-Tip is a brand name. Wow. Who knew?

I think the problem is the heat. That and the fact that I never dry my innie after my shower. So between sweating and taking more showers in this miserable summer, I'm sure it's a perfect breeding ground for bacteria. And to think that I've always been proud of my innie. It even stayed in when I was nine months pregnant (some women's navels pop out or get flat). Which happened to be the middle of a blazing July, many years ago.

Damn, I'm obsessing. Better stop. I did, however, notice my blog received an excessive number of views yesterday. I'm probably attracting weirdos with belly button fetishes. Is there such a thing? I'm sure there is, but I'm not gonna Google it. For fear my blog will rank high in the search results. Yuck. Oh, for the record, that was NOT a photo of my BB in yesterday's instructional post...