It's too painful to elaborate, but (sorry for the awful mental images this might conjure), old wounds were opened for me today. I was hoping for some closure. Is that what surgeons call what they do when they close up shop? Count the sponges, grab the staple gun or gorrilla glue, and call it a day?
Today, I thought I'd close the old wound. I keep reinjuring it. So a year and a half later, I'm still not healed. I wanted that today. It didn't happen. Screw it. Screw her. Screw my former sister, the Emotional Vampire. There wasn't an audience for her to court, so my civility was met with disdain.
I'm done. I hope. Thought I was. A good friend told me, "Don't play games with a game-player. You'll never win."
I wish I could talk to The D about it. I'm craving affirmation. But I have it. It's just not verbal. And I know that I'm strong enough to make do with that. For my mother. Sometimes I miss her so much.
Welcome to my world!
My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...