Welcome to my world!

My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Rapier Wit...

...I was accused of having it.  I don't think of myself as having that ability.  Except when someone's been rude or condescending to me, and then I come up with the best comebacks.  Unfortunately, I think of them about two hours later.  A good thing, though, because otherwise I would've lost every job I've ever had.  Rapier wit implies a sharp, cutting sense of humor.  And I try to be kind.  Most of the time...

I'm not sure how I'd describe my sense of humor.  Silly and inappropriate comes to mind.  That can be dangerous.  You have to know your audience.  Sometimes I'm impetuous.  Ok, I'm almost always impetuous.  That can make it even riskier.  Oh, well.  I guess that's why my new favorite quote is:  Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.  - Dr. Seuss.

Recently, I had to register a client for online banking and I was on the phone with the woman who was in charge of that sort of thing, on a volunteer basis.  A church member, which probably made it worse.  Did I blog about this before?  I think so.  But it's one of my better (or worse) quips, so I'll tell it again.  There were a bunch of stupid security questions, and as I was reading down the list so she could choose one she'd remember, I said "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"  Dead silence.  Inappropriate.  I dread the next time I see her.

Same church client (different people).  I was working there yesterday.  I called the church treasurer, Clarence, to tell him I'd finally closed July books.  He told me to tell the church secretary, Sheila, something, and she told me to tell him something, and it went back and forth like this:

Clarence:  Tell Shelia to put the cashier's check in my mail slot.
Me:  Sheila, Clarence said to put the cashier's check in his mail slot.
Sheila:  Ok.
Me:  She said Ok.
Shelia:  Tell Clarence that Jim was here and said to tell him he'll have to get back to him on such and such.
Me:  Jim was here and said to tell you that you can do the damn thing yourself.
Me:  Clarence said you can tell Jim to go to hell.
Clarence and Sheila in unison:  I did not say that!

It just happens that Jim isn't my favorite person.  Clarence and Sheila knew that.  And they like me.  So we all had a good laugh.  I don't think they're crazy about Jim either.  That probably helped.

Well, I'm going to try to make good use of my first free Saturday in a long time and do the FlyLady thing.  I already cleaned the sink this morning.  It was bad.  That's a big thing for FlyLady.  I'm not sure why.  We'll see if it helps.  It took me forever.  More than 15 minutes.  But not as long as this silly blog post.


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