Welcome to my world!

My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...

Friday, November 30, 2012

What a Day!

I'm so exhausted.  But I've got momentum.  As long as I don't sit down, I'll maintain the inertia.  The good kind.

I've made major progress today.  I've achieved closure - that's huge.

I'm running on fumes after sleeping just 3 hours last night.

But it's Friday and the world is my oyster.  Hey, I think I'll head to Half Shell and claim my oysters.  So, I'll sign off.  Wash this sweat and stress right outa my hair.  And bathe in the bliss of a beautiful weekend...

Sunday, November 25, 2012

I'm Thankful...

...for the people who love me.  I don't always feel loveable.  Unfortunately, on my trip to the Atlantic coast, I wound up feeling not only unloved, but reviled.  It's a long story, and if I were still hurt and angry, I could share the three page list of my shortcomings I made on the flight home.  It was therapeutic.  And I'm healing - grateful for my poor memory.  Which reminds me of my favorite quote:  One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.  - Rita Mae Brown

I cut my trip short.  Spent Thanksgiving night in a Marriott.  It was comfy, quiet, and peaceful.  In walking distance of the Shoney's.  I had the holiday buffet.  I was the youngest diner by a good 25 years.  I sat in my booth, gorged myself on surprisingly good turkey and dressing (I think they call it dressing there,) and worked crossword puzzles.  I ordered hot fudge cake for dessert - major calorie splurge.  Remember that?

I hoofed it back to the hotel, past the ToysRUs with a quarter mile, single file population of Black Friday Desperados.  I have a feeling the emergency room was flush with frostbite victims the next day.  Hopefully, they'd been fitted with prostheses beforehand (pardon the pun.)

Got to my room, ran a hot bath, fell asleep and consequently bathed my crossword puzzle book, too.  Woke up.  Dried off.  Laid puzzle pages on A/C fan.  Found remote control and turned off lights.

Spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out why I couldn't get anything besides an error message on the TV.  Gave up and called the front desk.  It turned out that the cable was out and Antietam Cable was closed for the holiday.  It was no small consolation that I knew I could negotiate a discount on my room in the morning (it turned out to be $15 - $17.18 with tax.)

Strangely, after my Shoney's food orgy, I was hungry.  I went to the bogus bogeda and bought an exhorbitantly expensive bag of Cheez-Nips.  Fortunately, wireless internet was free (and worked), so I found comfort in I Heart Radio (crazy talk radio - the surefire solution for sleeplessness) on my Kindle Fire.  And fell asleep without brushing my teeth.  Not so smart after suffering, seven short days earlier, a root canal and filling replacement.

I woke up just in time for free breakfast.  A lovely angel of mercy (the waffle lady) gave me good advice about the best way to get home.  There's a long, long story about that, but it'll have to wait for another day.  Stay tuned - it involves a huge red Ford F-250 and a black, boozing, Baptist, drug-seeking preacher lady from Nashville.  I couldn't make this stuff up.  How many times have I said that?

Another teaser.  I fell through the ceiling last night.  While retrieving Christmas decorations from the attic.  I wound up with a cheap substitute of a multicolored, icicle lighted tomato cage (I blame Southern Living) in the living room.  Lucy has eaten every bulb below the second tier.  Thank god for complete circuits.  And circuit breakers.

Better run.  I've been invited to a Christmas Tree Decorating Pary.  I know.  Glutton for Punishment.  But I'll be appreciated, fed and hydrated.  And I'll be in close proximity of a steaming hot tub, my sweet surrogate daughter, and my house.  It's so sweet to be able to safely stagger home...

Friday, November 16, 2012

T Minus 24 Hours

This time tomorrow, I'll be on my way to Hagerstown to see my BFF Melanie.  I'll be there a glorious nine days!  In the meantime, I have a boatload of things to do to get packed and ready.

I've been sidelined by a root canal AND a filling replacement.  And a day taking care of The Daddler after he fell.  After seeing the doctor (long wait since he had to work us in), and another long wait for a CT scan, I was relieved to know he was ok.  He fell when he was taking off his pants to get dressed for bed.  I asked him why he didn't sit down to do that and he replied (in a very hostile voice):  "I will from now on!"  Hell, I can't stand on one leg without falling down.  At least it wasn't a blood pressure problem or something else.  He hit his head on the night table (fortunately, it's round, as opposed to something with sharp corners,) and consequently, looked like he'd been in a boxing match.

Last night, two days after my root canal, I felt like I'd had a sharp left hook to the jaw.  I had an abscess and apparently, the antibiotics weren't doing their job.  Now, I'm taking two.  It's better today.  Luckily, Melanie is a dentist, so if I have trouble, I'll be in good hands.  She's been calling every 4-6 hours to check on me!  This morning, she told me that I was likely to have diarrhea from the antibiotics.  Great.  Nothing better than traveling with the runs.  Maybe I should borrow some of The D's Depends.  I bought them back when he was having the prostate probs, but he hasn't used them since.  Deb, however, did make good use of them during our family colonoscopy prep.  I suppose everyone ought to have some around.

I just thought of something funny.  Other families have reunions.  We have colonoscopy preps.

Well, I should go.  So much to do.  Hopefully, I'll have lots of blogging time (and material) on my vacay...

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Republic of Ohio

What's up with that? 

I'll stop there.  Because anything else I say will result in a Department of Homeland Security appointed swat team converging on my humble abode.

I'm so disillusioned.  I'm trying to focus on breathing deeply and chanting my mantra - IDGAF.  Unfortunately, I do GAF.  Dammit.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Things are Looking Up...

...at least for the moment.  It's been a good, busy weekend.  I do best when I'm busy.  I don't have as much time to overthing things.  To ruminate.  Interestingly, I just realized that the verb ruminate is related to the adjective ruminant.  Makes sense, since a ruminant is an animal who chews its cud.  Actually, it regurgitates its partially digested food and chews it again.  It has four stomachs.  There are 150 species of ruminants, including cows, camels, goats, sheep, giraffes (wonder how they get the food all the way up their throat from their stomach?), and water buffalo.    Unfortunately, I feel like a water buffalo at the moment.  I ate Mexican food yesterday, and Dim Sum today, so I've probably had a near lethal dose of sodium.  I hate this bloated feeling.  Ugh.
Dim Sum was good, though.  It's been at least ten years since I've had it.  My usual place closed down and my D.S. buddy moved away.  So when I heard about another restaurant which serves it, I couldn't wait to go.  Generally, it's served only on weekend afternoons.  They roll little carts around and you choose what you want.  Kinda like tapas on dessert carts.  There are lots of Chinese people there, so you know it must be good.  I had some old favorites.  One of these days, I should get up the courage to try the chicken feet.  I have a feeling that since I don't even like barbeque ribs or chicken wings, I won't like chicken feet.  I'm not fond of eating animal parts which look like what they are.  Like fish or shrimp with their heads on.  Any organ meat.  You get the idea.
I got The Daddler some shrimp-fried rice to go.  It's nice to know that his supper's taken care of.  I'm so glad he's not a picky eater.  Mother would've driven me crazy that way.  Except toward the end, she barely ate at all.  Wow, I miss her all of a sudden.
I suppose animals are on my mind because I had a beautiful morning at the zoo yesterday.  It's been forever since I've gone.  Perfect weather.  Good company.  Very nice change of pace. 
That's all for now - duty calls.  Over and out...

Saturday, November 3, 2012


Is just another word for nothing left to lose.  Which is a fucking depressing thought.  But strangely, empowering.  This is no revelation, but when negotiating, the power is in the ability to walk away.  Which is where IDGAF is useful.  Don't get me wrong.  I get emotionally attached.  But only to emotional beings.  Car salesmen are void of emotions.  And they're not beings.  They're not even organic.  They're below the protozoans.  Like a virus.  This is why I get incredible deals on cars.  They fuck with me, but I call them on that, and fuck with their walnut sized excuses for a cerebrum.  Like a cat with a small rodent. 

So sorry.  But I don't care.  I mean, IDGAF.  I love the feeling of walking away.  I do, but I don't.  I'm a cynical optimist. 

All for now.  Gonna go lick my wounds...