Welcome to my world!

My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...

Friday, December 23, 2011


That's synonymous with nirvana for me.  It's a rare state, but I'm grateful to be experiencing it now.  It's nothing short of a miracle.  I think it's because I'm in a sweet spot for a few days.  It's too late to order xmas gifts from Amazon.  Bank accounts are fine.  My fridge is full.  The Daddler is happy.  My property taxes and Kiddo's tuition are paid.  Things are good with FF.  I won't see him for the holiday, but I'm cool with that.  It just feels nice to have a BF during the holidays (even if, according to JoJo, he's not a real one).  Reality can be overrated.  And sometimes, it bites.

Besides, I'm totally obsessed with watching Lost on my Kindle Fire.  Amazon Prime makes it free.  From the very beginning.  I never watched a single episode before my Kindle.  Within a week or so, I'm to Season 2, Episode 8.  I keep thinking I'm gonna walk away.  But it's good.

I rented The Help.  Bought Simon Birch (loosely based on A Prayer for Owen Meany).  Play Words With Friends.  An e-version of Scrabble.  Might play w/ FF.  So far, I've just played with random opponents, and I think my W/L percentage is 50/50.  But it pisses me off when people come up with random words like Xi.  Who ever heard of that?

Gonna go now.  I hope I'm not the only one in the home stretch.  It feels good to be so close to home...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

You'd better not pout!

I'm determined not to.  Just yesterday, I realized that I haven't attended a single holiday event.  No Sunday School or office parties.  No school events.  No black Friday outings (not counting Walgreens that night).  No cocktail parties or gala events (not my thing, anyway).  No Christmas concerts/cantatas/plays.

Instead, I've been quite content ordering random things on Amazon.  Including my new, super-duper, three-in-one Shop-Vac.  It blows/vacuums/mulches.  Leaves.  Wet ones or dry ones.  And I have plenty of those.  It's ginormous.  I'm going to spend considerable time figuring out lots of creative uses for my new gadget.  I'm thinking I could convert it into a carpet cleaner, pressure washer, air purifier, chimney sweep, dryer vent reamer, dog groomer/bather, gutter cleaner, ceiling fan duster, white noise machine, air duct cleaner...  The possibilities are endless.  Like my imagination.

Speaking of dogs.  Only in Memphis.  The missing pit-bull, who was stolen by a city (animal shelter) employee at 2:00 a.m. (caught on surveillance, no less) named Kapone (gotta love a hip-hop sounding dog name), was recovered today.  In, of all places, Senatobia, Mississloppi.  This is stranger than WM3.  Really.  I've been to Senatobia.  Pit bulls, corrupt Memphis city employees and rural Missssippians don't mix.  Maybe I'm wrong.  This could be the New South.  Maybe we all just CAN get along.

Pit bulls are on my mind.  I decided to take my money-pit-of-a-lemon-Subaru to a mom & pop shop instead of to the evil dealer.  I won't digress except to say, there's the devil you know, the devil you don't know, and the satanic car you sell your soul to maintain.

So... Pit bulls.  Mom & Pop.  After a week and a half of waiting for the autopsy of my lemon, I finally got the go ahead to pick it up.  I was greeted by two very muscular, slobbering, snarling, scary dogs.  I was assured that they were "sweeties", and that they couldn't reach my jugular, but nonetheless, I didn't complain about my $1,600 bill.  Nosirrreee.  I even thought about adding a tip.  Clever marketing ploy, I must say.

Kiddo was with me and I told him to roll in a ball if the dogs jumped over the counter.  He had an air of false bravado.  Didn't fool me.  Or the dogs.  They can smell fear. 

Enough about that.  While we're on the subject of our neighbor to the south, rednecks, corruption and breaking news stories, check this out.  The mayor of Southaven.  Just google it.  Connect the dots.  How embarrassing.  It even makes me cringe.  No schadenfraude here.

But...  Which came first?  The lemon drop martini or the gay porn?  I'm sorry.  I couldn't resist.  I'm not a hater.  Except when it comes to smarmy politicians...  And pit bulls...

All for now. 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Bah, Humbug.

That's how I felt early this morning.  My pre-lit tree wouldn't light.  The electrical outlets in the corner I'd planned to put the tree in didn't work.  Even after I went out in the cold to the breaker box and flipped everything back and forth.  I didn't realize those outlets didn't work.  I rearranged the furniture so I could put the tree near a working outlet.  After I finally found the right tree stand and fit all the parts together, I plugged it in, and nothing lit up.  So I walked away.

Later on, it worked better.  Some of the limbs, anyway.  And then, later, when I was fluffing the smushed fake branches, some more lights came on.  Kinda scary, huh?  Maybe I'd better put the smoke detectors back up.  I've given up on finding the source of the beeping.  And we've been flying without a net for the last four days.  Thank god the house hasn't burned down.  But the smoke detectors wouldn't help, because I've become inured to high pitched beeping sounds.  And The D is deaf as a doornail.  Which isn't all bad.

All of a sudden, I'm exhausted.  I've been up until all hours reading the last in the series of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."  All I can think about is finishing it.  I have a feeling the book will hit me in the nose within 30 minutes.  With any luck, I'll wake up early and finish it in the morning.

All for now...