Welcome to my world!

My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Getting Even

After The D's barrage of Carol Criticism yesterday, I thought of a funny trick to play. I woke up at 9:00 this morning to the sound of clomping men's dress shoes. I got out of bed to see what was going on. The D was sitting in his throne recliner wearing his tennis shoes. I asked him if there was someone else in the house. Those were definitely not tennis shoe footsteps. He looked at me like I was crazy.

Then he asked me if we could go to church. I really didn't feel like it, but being the sweet, selfless daughter that I am, I told him we would. I had to jump in the shower and put on makeup and get dressed. I left my hair 'til last. I guess I forgot to put conditioner on my hair because when I took the towel off my head, my hair was a huge, crazy, tangled mess.
I had a little flash of inspiration. I left my hair exactly like it was. Then I announced as I walked into the throne room that I was ready to go. I wish you could have seen the look of horror on his face. He was speechless. Finally, he managed to say, "Get that thing off!" He thought it was a wig. So I had a good laugh and headed back to the bathroom to tame my mane. A few minutes later, I told him I was ready and he seemed really relieved to seem my hair looking a little less like Tina Turner's. I asked him if that was better and he said it was. So I took that as a compliment.

Out of six hymns, I only knew four. The music man needs to rein it in. Old people and lapsed Baptists don't like new hymns that span three octaves. The D needs me to find the page in the hymnal and we use the same one so I can point to the words. I usually like to sing alto, especially when the sopranos need the range of Maria Callas. But since there was a substite organ player who missed more notes that I do, I sang the melody. I noticed The D sang more when I was screeching out the soprano part. Since the people on the three rows in front of us were pushing 100 and I figured they had some hearing impairment, I belted it out, pretty loudly. Besides, The D can't hear very well.

We had communion today, which for Baptists is called The Lord's Supper. They only do it once every two or three months. It's a very solemn ritual. The pastor was moved to tears. I'm ashamed to admit that I was having carnal thoughts during the service. Don't judge me, though. Remember my ADD. Besides, I resisted texting - that should count for something. The cracker was rancid, but I guess I deserved that. I was ready for the tiny cup of grape juice.

Ok, better close now. Daddy's chomping at the bit to go to the Good House. First I have to check something on client's kids' returns, and then I can take him. And enjoy the beautiful sunshine.

No comments:

Post a Comment