It's too painful to elaborate, but (sorry for the awful mental images this might conjure), old wounds were opened for me today. I was hoping for some closure. Is that what surgeons call what they do when they close up shop? Count the sponges, grab the staple gun or gorrilla glue, and call it a day?
Today, I thought I'd close the old wound. I keep reinjuring it. So a year and a half later, I'm still not healed. I wanted that today. It didn't happen. Screw it. Screw her. Screw my former sister, the Emotional Vampire. There wasn't an audience for her to court, so my civility was met with disdain.
I'm done. I hope. Thought I was. A good friend told me, "Don't play games with a game-player. You'll never win."
I wish I could talk to The D about it. I'm craving affirmation. But I have it. It's just not verbal. And I know that I'm strong enough to make do with that. For my mother. Sometimes I miss her so much.
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