Welcome to my world!

My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Our Exciting Day Trip

Such a good day. The D, Daph and I boarded the church bus right on time this morning. It was a nice little group of 12. We headed to Reelfoot Lake - about a two hour trip. Luckily, I brought loads of magazines because my cellular coverage was horrible. Major withdrawal for me. Daph was texting and emailing away. I asked to borrow her phone to check my stocks. She smirked as she said, "AT&T has more bars in more places." She's drunk the Apple Kool Aid, too. Figures. Nothing scary with my stocks so I decided to just forget about it. After an hour or so, she wanted to lay her head in my lap. Being the sweet big sister that I am, I let her. I even rubbed her head, tried to french braid her hair, and in general, treated her like the baby she is. Oh, speaking of her hair, she told me that one of the patients at her clinic asked her what had happened to her hair. He said, "Have you been in a fight?"
"Did you get your hair caught in the shredder? Were you struck by lightning?"
"No. And no. My sister cut it."
He asked if I were a hairdresser. She said, "What do you think? She decided to thin it the other night."
"Did she have thinning scissors?"
"No. She had her kitchen shears in one hand and a beer in the other."
He said, "OOOH girl, I can help you. Come to my salon."

I have to admit, Daph's a good sport. Unfortunately, I got carried away and there were sprigs of hair on the crown of her head that stood straight up. I told her she should've said that she was participating in an anti-fur protest. Then she'd seem like a fanatical animal-loving kook instead of just stupid.

Back to the trip. We were on a mission to see eagles. We saw two of them in a field when we got close. That's it. I kept spotting them and some old bag in the back kept saying they were too small to be eagles (Lady, they were far away, not small!), and that they stayed near the water (What about the two in the field on the way?). Then The D piped up and said they were buzzards, not eagles. Hell, I know a buzzard when I see one. I bit my tongue and told Daph to tell me they were eagles. She said they were. She didn't seem very sincere, though. She's still pissed about the hair.

After scanning the area like a secret service agent at a Tea Party demonstration, my eyes were strained and I was sick to my stomach. Thank god, the old buzzard in the front seat said it was time to eat. We went to this catfish joint that was almost empty and they asked me if we had reservations. Ummmm, no. Is that a problem? Turns out it was amazing. I'm not a big catfish person, but they had a great cheeseburger. Real onion rings - not those frozen things. The best white beans ever. Good fried okra. Hush puppies. Good catfish. Cole slaw. And the best yeast rolls in the whole world. I bought three dozen to take with. And two pints of beans. Supper. I went back into the kitchen to tell them I needed to hurry because I was afraid they'd leave me behind. Like in Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None. Started with 12, and one by one, they disappeared/died.

Daph saw me come out of the kitchen and asked me what I was doing in there. She said, "Didn't you see that Employees Only sign on the door?" I said, "Hell. We're in the middle of nowhere - they don't care." She used to be a waitress, so she was appalled. She's a little paranoid. One time she found a band-aid on her pizza. I'm not making that up. And a roach in the duck sauce at the chinese restaurant. Luckily the container was clear and the light hit it just right so we didn't use any.

Back to the catfish joint. Daph and I were walking toward the register and we noticed about five $1 bills sprinkled carefully around the table. I went back to the waitress and asked her if they'd added on a gratuity. She said no. I said, oh. Sorry. Old people don't tip, do they? She smiled sweetly and said no. I gave her a $20 and asked her if that was enough. She assured me it was. Daph was proud of me. Anyone who's ever waited tables is a very generous tipper. I never waited tables (way too clumsy for that), but I am a good tipper.

Next, we headed to the state park visitor's center. We DID see eagles in their little chain link fence-enclosed sanctuary. I climbed over the fence to get a picture through the openings and Daph started shrieking at me that I wasn't allowed to get that close. I said, "Who the hell cares?" Do you see a pattern here? Then I pointed to two open gates in the fence. It was just more fun to climb over.
We went into the gift shop and the lady who worked there was holding the sweetest little screech owl named Luna. So cute. Daph wanted to pet her but the lady said they couldn't replant severed fingers at their little hospital, so it might not be a good idea.
I need to close now. I'll show you the picture that makes me smile. Do Luna and The D look a little alike? I think so. They're both so cute...


  1. Just finished mammoth reading session...so funny...blogs are best read backwards so you 'get it' when you get the the more current post. Be sure to print this off so if it is ever deleted in a fit of rage or you hit the wrong key...it is a good record of these days. Get a dog ? Maybe in new house.Get two tho...the old question "What does a dog want in this world more than anything else ?" Answer: "Another dog"...get 2.