Welcome to my world!
My life's been crazy since my Daddy moved in with me immediately after my mother's death in October 2010. My one and only kiddo headed to college at Carolina at the end of August. So...I lived on my own, for the first time in my life, for a total of a blissful six weeks. Then, I started the parenting gig with my dad. He's a combination of a grouchy old man, a surly teenager and a temperamental toddler. Needless to say, I get very close to the brink of insanity sometimes. I get through life by finding the humor in difficult circumstances. And for some reason, I wind up in the weirdest situations. I couldn't make this stuff up. So I wind up having lots and lots crazy adventures which make great stories to share with my friends. Writing about my life is so therapeutic. My ramblings range from funny to sad to angry (full of cuss words) to sweet. While my focus is dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a parent to my Daddy, I have lots of random, totally unrelated posts. Whatever's on my mind. I love to make people laugh, and I'm happy to think my readers will get my strange sense of humor. And maybe, people who are in my situation will be encouraged. That's all I can hope for...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Jackhammer Destroyed My Zen
Here I sit, staring out my window. It needs cleaning. There's a gray squirrel who eats the roots of my begonia every morning. I tap on the window and he gives me an "eat shit" look and prances around. If asshole squirrel eats The D's tomatoes, I'm gonna shoot him with a sawed off shotgun. Too bad I gave The D's .22 away. Can that be sawed off? Is it illegal to discharge firearms this close to a church and school?
They did rezone the extra land they added to my tract. But I have a feeling it's just residential and hunting and shooting are not permitted. I think I'll just stand really still next to Sly's marker in the front flower bed and smash the squirrel in the head with a shovel when he least expects it. Probably not a good idea given my extreme remorse over the previously blogged about hypothermic chipmunk. And today, while I was running, there was a dead squirrel in the street. He'd been run over. His own fault. You know how they play chicken with cars. Still, his tongue was hanging out and I couldn't help but think about his wife and kids. And how they'll have to drop out of squirrel school to gather acorns.
It's a cruel joke. When armageddon kicks in, it'll be the squirrels, mosquitoes, cockroaches and ants who'll run the show. And we think we're so evolved. And superior.
The jackhammer started up this afternoon. Kiddo started up. And the fuckin' mosquitoes. Kiddo'll be several continents away Saturday. I'll miss him.
Not so for the other pests. The good thing, though, is that I can kill them and not be charged with capital murder.
Would I violate Zen if I killed members of the animal kingdom? What if I stick to invertebrates? By that I mean creatures with exoskelatons. Not spineless fellow primates.
Damn, I thought I'd gotten all the bile out of my system. Guess I was wrong. I figure it'll take a while. But I have nowhere to go. At least not for another week or so...
Posted by Carol at 3:24 PM