Panacea...

...the cure for all ills. I love that word. I even had an idea about a company once, and called it that. I have a folder on my computer with that name. Turns out, Dude has a house there.

It's been crazy, trying to get ready to go. And for some reason, when I did my online flight check-in, I broke into a sweat. Why am I so nervous?

I guess because Easter was kinda low-key. No pressure. Separate quarters. I loved hanging out with Dude and his parents. We had fun when we spent time alone, but that wasn't much, and there was always the excuse of tending to parents if we hated each other. Which we DEFINITELY did not. Still.

I think the reason I'm so anxious, though, is because FF has been elusive. Probably because of some of my stupid, exhibitionistic blog posts. He mentioned "not the only game in town." Which was my silly, insecure attempt at seeming breezy and care-free. At the moment, that was how I felt. I considered redacting it, but decided against it. And yes, FF does have a little competition, but don't tell him, he really doesn't. Unlike real estate, with me it's not Location, Location, Location. See, the whole long-distance thing could be considered a major disadvantage. But I don't see it that way.

I think it forces us to take our time. And enjoy our time together. As in REALLY enjoy. Anticipate. Cherish. Remember. Value.

It's so easy to get into a rut. To take each other for granted. After all, how long does the average courtship last? FF and I first encountered each other three months ago. And it feels like a first date. But a little less scary. One thing I'm sure of is that the minute I see him at the airport, it'll feel easy.

I'm sure I've blogged about this before, but when I picked him up at our airport, Easter weekend, we stood there with stupid grins on our faces. My stupid attempt at breaking the ice (laying a big wet kiss on him) failed miserably (for me, at least). Or not.

Still, the weekend was magical. Hanging out at his parents' house. Flirting and teasing. Slapping his hand when he pulled up my skirt.

There was a little drama (it's me, after all), but we settled in. We talked about living in the moment (foreign concept to me). He helped me with learning the guitar. Sang a song he'd written for me in Polish. It made me blush when his dad interpreted it.

He had the option to leave Monday or Tuesday. He decided to wait until Tuesday. Which I took as a good sign. Parting was such sweet sorrow. Wow. Great kiss. Who ever kisses at the airport any more?

I did my best not to cry on my way home. I'm sure I headed straight to a client's office or The Daddler's lunch or something. Or over-analyzed the situation. Tried to do the whole risk-benefit analysis.

I'm not gonna do that tomorrow, though. I promise. I'm just gonna go figure out what to pack. Paint my toenails and hope I can cover my Gorilla Glue encrusted fingernails. And think about what it'll be like when I see him at the airport. Maybe he'll surprise me with a kiss even better than mine...