Whew!

What a crazy day. I started out really early (3:00). In panic mode. To the point of hyperventilating. When that happens, I just have to get up and shift into work mode. Warp speed.

Turns out neither Sheila nor Sarita were coming today, and that was good. No distractions.

The D had a 10:30 appointment at the neurologist. Really, all it involves is a memory test and refills. I talk to the doc about how things are. The Daddler has aphasia, which is the inability to retrieve words. But there are some memory problems. Doc asked him to say "Rock, orange, cat" and remember them. The D repeated them. But two questions later, his answers were "Rock, apple, pear." I couldn't stop the tears. We went through the seasons. He was stuck on autumn, but knew it wasn't summer yet. And he knew the date. And the month. And the day of the week. Which is much better than me. New month, holiday Monday - I'm lost in space.

It's almost impossible for me not to help The Daddler with his test. Because I know he knows. He just can't spit it out.

I don't suppose it matters. Except it reinforces that sadness that I'm the parent. He's my child. I'm responsible for his well-being. Wow. We talked about meds. The doc asked how I was doing. I told him I was mostly good, but sometimes overwhelmed. He told me that caregivers were at higher risk for death and suicide. Cool.

In spite of pending meeting with client's CPA to review tax return, I took The D to Picadilly. It was flush with old people. I won't go into the details except to say the sweet servers told me it would be cheaper if D got two veggies instead of one, but he only wanted one, and he pretty much screamed at me. I ate stewed okra & tomatoes, jalepeno cornbread and mac & cheese, but thought I'd have to pull over and throw up on the way home. The good thing is that I have two little styrofoam containers of carrot souffle in the fridge. He ate cornbread. Again.

Tomorrow, when I meet with my most important client, I'm going to ask for a week off. I'll still be available, but I just wanna forget work. I'll get back from my FF trip Monday night, and then the golf tourney goes through Sunday. I want to take The D and maybe JoJo.

It's been two years since I've had a vacay. And that wasn't the best. Truth be told, though, I'm a little worried about this. I'm not good with water sports. And a client who's a Naval Academy man told me Hobie Cats aren't especially easy. Apparently, there's no wet-bar, ladies' room, Captain's cabin, or boom-safe place. I think that means I'll have to pay attention. Not my strong suit.

It'll be telling. FF's patience and devotion will be put to the test. I have a backup plan, so if it's a total disaster, we'll both survive.

Forgive the nautical term, but this is uncharted territory for me. And I'll do my best not to abandon ship. But I'm so tired now, that I might need someone to tie me to the mast. Or throw me overboard.